Monday, August 19, 2013

This is the end...

...of an era. This marks the end of my carefree summer and indicates the transition in my life from high school to college. I'm terrified because I don't know what my future holds for me. I couldn't tell you how anything will work out and I'm scared to find out. At the same time it's frighteningly wonderful, because I've begun to discover that some of the most beautiful moments in life are the unpredicted ones. I learned this summer that the difference between being upset and being happy is entirely perspective. It seems obvious that how I chose to view my life makes a huge impact on how I feel about it, but the application of this is incredible. The lesson is that there is always a bright light waiting for you anywhere you go. The destination is almost irrelevant in light of what you choose to make of it. My predicted path was not very accurate at all, as many of the ideas I had of who I should be were not fulfilled. Some of this was within my realm of control and some of it was definitely not. Regardless, I can sit here and say today I've become even more of the person I'm meant to be despite the disappointment a and let downs. So many of the tumultuous struggles ended up resolving themselves and led me to feel I'm embarking on a journey that's leading me to all the bigger goals in my life. I've said it before, but not getting what you want makes you just as happy as getting something you want does. It's all based off of how you take the current situation and run with it. Holding a grudge for people who accomplished your dreams is absurd, because that no longer matters. If you don't achieve your old dreams, that just means you outgrew them and need to make some new ones. We can never be more than we are. The end of high school showed me its okay if I'm not the smartest or the prettiest or the most athletic. I'm going to keep struggling with those issues in my life forever, but the more time goes on the more I can roll my eyes at my silliness. I'm a legal adult now and intend to begin attempting to act in a way that suggests I am what I want to be. I'm going to be a powerful woman and no one is going to stop me. Now to lift my invisible champagne glass and toast the past. Thank you to all the people who crossed my path and taught me humbling lessons about love, loss, and adolescent stupidity. To everyone who I have loved, I will hold them in my heart forever. And here's to this new chapter of my life on the hilltop in the Big D. Many beautiful flowers blossom from unexpected places.

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